It’s so funny how we say that we want God to have His way in our lives without thinking what that statement fully implies. I can remember saying yes to His will and yes to His way, no matter the costs. I was sold out for the Lord and nothing could shake me, so I thought. When the moment came for me to live up to what I had been saying, I threw a tantrum like a three-year old toddler. Here I was, at the climax of a shift in my life and my husband asked me for a divorce. Everything that I had been telling others to do when they were faced with a situation went straight out the window. There was no stop, drop, and pray or “stand still” moment. Oh, no sir, no ma’am! I was sick and tired of my friends telling me that “all things work together for the good….blah, blah, blah!” Good? What good was there in divorce? I didn’t see anything good about what was happening to me or my children. I was hurt, mad, and was in no mood for a scripture. All of those cookie-cutter clichés brought me no comfort. If anything, they angered me. I was angry with my husband for dragging me across the country to leave me; then I got mad at God for allowing him to do it. It wasn’t the divorce itself but how it was done. I prayed and cried, and cried and prayed, yet God didn’t intervene. I made a vow that God and I were going to have a face-to-face and I wasn’t going to leave Him alone until He gave me some answers. For three weeks I fussed, cursed, screamed, yelled, and cried at God hoping that He would show Himself and say something or do something. Yet, He remained silent. Who would want to serve a God that remained silent when it felt like everything inside you was being torn to shreds? I would. Although God had been silent, He still had me in His hands. Nothing that was done was to hurt me; but to mature me and prepare me for His use. Basically, I was a nut that needed to be cracked. Lol! Yes, the cracking was painful and I twisted and turned in the process, but He never let the “good part” slip out of His grasp.
Prayer: Father, I thank you for being such a kind and merciful God. I thank you for cracking the layers of hurt, pain, and anger to get to the good part. At times, I may not understand your ways but I know they are right and they are purposeful. Never let me forget that it was you and you alone that has kept me and held me through it all. I love you and will bless your name forevermore, Amen. "The Good Part" is an excerpt from the anthology I coauthored "Passion Unleashed: Bring Your Best Self to God" Available on Amazon and Barnes & Noble
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